The BIGGEST Wedding Phobia... The Speeches

Why? I don't know. Okay, I'm lying - I do know. I get it. Public speaking is one of the most widespread human fears on the planet. There's something terrifying about stepping into the spotlight in front of a hundred or so people and saying stuff while everyone listens - well, most listen. It can be nerve-racking... I get it. Really I do.

But here's the thing - when you make a speech at a wedding it has nothing to do with you. You just have to put your anxiety into a little box for a minute. At least, that's what I told my dad. I'm not picking on my dad... I know how much he hates speaking in a crowd. But you were able to do it right Dad? ...Dad?

He's over it... really he is.

There are a few key people who absolutely have to make a speech at a wedding... the people listed below are the bare minimum as far as I'm concerned. They are: the Father of the Bride, the Father of the Groom, the Best Man, the Maid of Honour, and the Bride/Groom themselves.

So here's the breakdown:

Fathers

Okay, so this is misleading because as far as I'm concerned it doesn't necessarily have to be the father who speaks. The idea is that a representative from each side of the family officially welcomes the newest addition to the family on the family's behalf. It could be done by the mothers or even a close uncle or aunt if a parent is deceased or something of that nature.

That's it... it's really quite simple isn't it? It doesn't have to be long, or drawn out, or fancy - it just has to be honest (or as close to honest as can be while still keeping it nice). It's your kid's wedding. Take a minute to welcome his/her spouse to the family publicly. (And maybe even congratulate them while you're at it).

Best Man/Maid of Honour

The next one is the BM and MOH - alrighty ladies and gents, you were selected for this role for a reason, right? At least I hope so. You are the leader of the troop of bridesmaids or groomsmen. You are the closest person to the bride or groom. You should have something to say, right? It's not hard to do by any means. Your speech should contain some element of thanks to the couple for asking you to be a part of their big day, a compliment to the groomsmen (for the MOH) or the bridesmaids (if you're the BM) on how great they look and/or how much help they've been to you. And finally, congratulate the couple - tell them how happy they will be together - assuming you believe this. If you don't - you really shouldn't be holding this title (and those flowers) in the first place... but that's another matter altogether.

That's really all there is to it. My sister was my MOH and although she has NO problems talking (and talking, and talking...), she was nervous as could be (which may have had something to do with the fact that she was still writing her speech just before the grand entrance). At any rate, she got up and made a lovely, heartfelt speech. Thanks Nee (xoxo).

The Couple

Next is the couple - this one tends to be my BIGGEST pet peeve of all the speeches. First, because some couples actually believe that they can get away with not making a speech (huh?)... Really? I mean seriously, all of these people have come together (some may have traveled very far) to be a part of this wedding. You should really give them some recognition. Not to mention all of the people who have helped you stuff envelopes, paint mini flower pots, count chocolate almonds, study dress beading (and then search the world for a matching tiara), and of course those who have listened to your endless list of pallet choices (which is something I can chat about for hours. Other people find it a tad less fascinating).

So basically this is your chance to show your appreciation. Let's not kid ourselves, this entire process has been about you. About your wedding colours, your dress, your flowers, your shoes, your hair, your centerpieces... and so on. Now that it's all come together it's time to breath a big sigh of relief... smile... realize that you've done it... you're here... you're married... the decor is beautiful, the flowers are stunning, the food is delicious... and it's time to genuinely thank all those people who helped make it possible.

And then of course, before taking your seat again, you'll want to thank your new husband for putting up with you for the past year (or more) while you planned every last detail of the wedding. Or, assuming you're the groom, you'll want to apologize to your new wife for simply shrugging when she explained (in excruciating detail) how the girls' shoes didn't match their earrings (you really did care you were just tired).

For some quick and very clever tips on giving a wedding speech visit Christopher C. Dave's blog. It's a great resource for any amateur speaker looking to make a good impression.

Cheers!

Sophie

Coverall Event Coordination